So often our experiences of birth go unacknowledged and the deeply felt transformations that we go through, whether they feel good or bad, are left for another day as we gather ourselves together and begin our journey of matrescence. I know this from personal experience, and I know that I am not alone because, in a room full of women, when you discuss what it is to put your needs second to the baby, to struggle to find that time to figure out you, your birth and this incredible transformation that just happened to you, the acknowledgement and understanding that spreads around the room can almost be felt physically.
But birth is the making of a mother, it is the first step into the incredible and messy journey that is matrescence, and how we experience our birth and are supported to make sense of it, can be truly life changing in how a woman feels when navigating what is an incredibly vulnerable time in her life. Studies show that a positive birth experience can have a profound impact on the confidence of new mothers, it helps to support bonding, increase breastfeeding success and can even reduce the risk of postpartum depression and/or anxiety. When you consider the far reaching impacts of this on the mothers health, both mental and physical, and in extension of that the impacts on the wider family, to not treat this experience with the care and honour that it deserves is inexcusable.
One in four women experience birth trauma, and the likelihood is that this number is probably actually much higher. Birth processing cannot erase these experiences, but it can help to provide the safety and the space to navigate the experience and process the feelings that may have come up for you in birth.
A birth processing session with me is a beautiful opportunity to be held and guided as you process the experiences of your birth. Every moment of our time together is led by you and you can trust that I have spent time learning how to truly listen and observe, to both your story and your body, so that I can respond intuitively to allow you to meet with and process the stories and patterns that come up for you, in a way that feels safe and nurturing.
For most, a debrief begins with an opportunity to share your birth story with me should you wish to. This is entirely on your terms and at your own pace, I am here to hold you in this process, to acknowledge your experience and validate any emotions that you have around it. Beyond this I feel honoured to have the capacity to be able to bear witness and hold space for any emotional releases that may come with the process of telling your story. There is no right or wrong way to process a birth but for many it might be the first time it has felt safe enough to be truly seen and to feel, and this can bring with it anything from tears to anger. Where necessary I can guide you through nervous system regulation techniques to bring your body back to balance, which often brings with it a feeling of lightness as you process and let go of stored emotion.
Beyond telling your story and depending on what feels right for you, birth processing can also be an opportunity to gain a better understanding of your nervous system, where your emotions come from and why they show up the way they do. This in itself be a very empowering tool to working through your feelings around your birth.
Where this service goes further than talk therapy is in working with your body somatically. I cannot express how much this way of working, and my own experiences of this therapy, can be so beautifully and deeply healing.
Somatic therapy is a gentle invitation to explore and understand the feelings that your body may be holding around your experiences. It is a therapy that focuses on grounding and connection to your body, bringing awareness to the physical sensations that we so often ignore or are simply unaware of. This form of therapy builds connection to self, brings awareness to these sensations and, with guidance, can help you to better understand your own patterns and behaviours in a way that resources you moving forward. It can be the foundation that leads you to lean into your body’s innate wisdom and begin to trust in your own intuition, building confidence and resilience for your future self.
After your session you might expect to:
Feel heard and validated in your birth experience.
Feel better connected to your body, to understand more about the stories it holds and how it responds.
Feel compassion for yourself and an awareness of the strengths you carry into your pregnancy, birth and postpartum.
Have a better understanding of your nervous system and techniques that you can use to support it.
Be able to shift from living your experience in the past and focus on the now.
Recognise where further support, both physical and emotional might be needed and feel more confident to seek it out.
Confidence in your ability to move forward from your experience and be able to envision a positive outcome for future births should this be something you are planning for or expecting.
Sometimes a birth processing session can bring up questions that I myself may not be able to answer. It might also highlight where additional support would be helpful to you, for example further mental health support if needed or physical support such as physiotherapy or nervous system regulation, for example breathwork, yoga, meditation.
It is my intention for those who are local to East Yorkshire, to meet and build relationships with the wonderful people who are providing these care services nearby so that I am better placed to direct you to this support should it be wanted. After a session with me we will consider what further support, if any, you might want to seek and I will do what I can to advise you on where you might be able to find this.
On a personal level, I also have a community of support as part of the Reconnected Birthing Mentorship. I feel this is essential for both myself and for you as my client, to ensure I have the support of a community of professionals to reflect on my own practice and provide additional guidance where necessary. In particular, despite having built a wealth of knowledge around birth, this support allows me, with your permission, to refer any questions I may not be able to answer about your medical care to a qualified midwife who can provide more experienced answers should they be required.